A faux-laroid update

I vlogged. Excuse me.

By now I'm sure you have seen other bloggers 'round the blogosphere doing video blogs, otherwise known as "vlogs". I love watching the vlogs of the bloggers I've been following since the beginning of time. You finally get to hear the voice behind the blog. I've seen a few "accent vlogs" now...the blogger reads off a list of words for the sole purpose of sharing their beautiful (and sometimes annoying and unattractive)accent with their readers. There's also a list of questions to answer. It's only a fraction of the...dumb-ity-ness...you think it is. I pwomise. Here's mine.



*I totally don't pronounce "sure" the way I just claimed to. You might catch that little hilarious bit of stupidity.

** I don't think my voice could be any more boring. I'm accentless. That's no fun.

***PPPPPPSSSSSS. Here are the words/questions if you want to DO THIS ACCENT VLOG AND PLEASE PLEASE DO, AND SHARE IT WITH ME SO I DON'T FEEL LIKE A COMPLETE IDIOT. Don't leave me hanging, guys. Just don't.

Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New
Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting Image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup,
Pajamas, Caught

What is it called when you throw toilet paper on someone's house?
What is the bug that when you touch it, it rolls into a ball?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a large group of people?
What do you call a spider that has an oval shaped body with extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption you carry groceries in at the supermarket?
What do you call it when it rains while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you change to TV channel with?

How to pull off a successful dinner out with small children in tow

We took the kids out with us to a nicer restaurant tonight, and they were perfect little angels. Forget hiring a babysitter, you TOO can enjoy an evening out at a nice restaurant with your children. "How do I do that, Jessi?", you're probably asking. Well, let me tell you, my fine friends.

What to bring:

• Graham crackers
• Goldfish crackers
• A couple of large Tootsie Roll Pops

And most importantly, order dessert.

You may get a few stares, glares, or the occasional *mumblegrumbletoomuchsugarmumblenotorganicgrumblecrunchymunchygreen*..... Don't you worry, for your children will be the happiest, most pleasant children in all the land.

And maybe the stickiest.

What's the haps tonight?

All I want to do is sit here in my snuggie with my hot chocolate and watch Poirot.

P.S. I don't really have a snuggie.  A girl can dream, right?
P.P.S. I'll bet half of you read Poirot as poy-rott.  *snicker*

They felt bad for ripping off his legs...

...So they thought they'd cheer him up by letting him go down the slide.

I don't believe you.

What.  Not everybody wears their hair like this?

ETA: What.  Not everybody posts sideways photos?

Best evening ever.

This is what every room in my house looked like yesterday evening.  Can you guess what they all have in common (besides them looking like the Mess Monster took a huge dump and forgot to flush)?  There is not a single person in any of them.  Can I tell you how often that happens?  No, I can't tell you because I don't think it has EVER happened.  It was just meeeeeeeee.  MEEEEEEEEEE.  I sat on the couch for about 30 minutes doing nothing but listening to the kitchen clock tick.  Sometimes I forget that I have a clock that ticks.  I went to the bathroom ALONE.  That was weird.  I didn't know what to do with my hands.  You'll understand if you've ever had a toddler you can't leave alone for two seconds, so you bring him to the bathroom with you, but he's pulling things out of drawers, unravelling toilet paper, ripping down the shower curtain, getting into the trash, etc.  So that was probably the best part of my evening.  I also went to a hip and happenin' Hymn Sing at church last night, but not before I was able to get dressed and do my hair while listening to Michael Jackson's "what about us" on repeat instead of listening to "MoMMMEEEEEmumMUMMYmommyMOM!"

Best evening ever.